How to Start a Routine with a Newborn
Becoming a parent for the first time, and the transition from 0-1 kid, was by far the wildest, most challenging time of my life. Much more so than my transition from 1-2 kids. When a new baby is brought home for the first time, the world is turned upside down for the new parents. The days are a blur of feedings, diaper changes, spit up, laundry, and unconsolidated sleep stretches. SO, when you hear the words “routine” and “newborn” in the same sentence you may think to yourself, “HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!”
Just hear me out. I’m about to tell you how to start a routine with a newborn!
Should newborns have a routine?
I’m sure nobody is surprised to hear my answer--Yes, they should and they can! Routines can be a powerful thing. Routines help your baby make sense of the world when everything they’ve known from the past 9 months has suddenly changed. Please make note that I am talking about routines, NOT schedules. A routine is simply a predictable sequence of events. A schedule is rigid, and does not always take into consideration the fluctuating needs of the baby.
Out of curiosity, I googled a “newborn schedule”. The well-meaning creator of a random schedule I clicked on had a beautifully laid out daily schedule that had the newborn staying awake for exactly an hour, and then sleeping two hours for every single nap. Nice in theory but in reality? Highly unlikely. The facts are that newborns can nap anywhere from 20 minutes up to 2 hours at a time. (We do recommend capping any single nap at two hours for newborns to ensure the nap doesn’t interfere with their feedings). So, if you are trying to follow a schedule like that one you are likely to become discouraged and stressed out. Let’s dive into how to create a newborn routine that can be followed fairly reliably.
How to start a newborn routine
First off, you will want to offer feedings every 2-3 hours during the day to make sure they are getting enough nourishment. Establishing feedings is number one on the priority list for newborn life. If they are not actively showing hunger cues then they are basically probably getting ready to sleep again.
You will want to establish a morning wake up time as soon as you are able. If you plan to return to work you can look ahead and decide what time you’ll need to have the baby up and out the door, and begin working towards that as their morning wake up time. If you don’t plan to return to work, or have a non-traditional work schedule, you will still want to establish a morning wake up time to anchor your day. This can help naps and feedings to happen at roughly the same time each day, and provide some stability to your family’s life, even when naps are all over the place. It is also very helpful in supporting your baby’s natural circadian rhythm and wake-sleep cycles. Any time in the 6-8 am range is great, and you can have about 30 minutes of variability on either side if you want a window to aim for, instead of a set time every morning.
What does a newborn routine look like?
In the early days, your newborn may only be awake for 45-60 minutes at a time. This includes time spent feeding, and does not leave a whole lot of room for “activities” after that. We often hear about “eat play sleep” or “eat activity sleep and you time” or EASY. This sequence helps to separate feeding from sleep to reduce feed to sleep associations and to ease any digestive issues. This is a great routine to keep in mind when considering a routine for your baby, however if feedings get off track you can aim to keep the feeding separated from sleep by 30 minutes. The activity part of that routine can be just 5-10 minutes, like tummy time or floor time. Speaking of tummy time, this doesn’t necessarily have to be on the floor. It can be done while baby wearing, or while the baby is laying on mom or dad’s chest. You can talk to your baby and cheer them on! Keep one eye on baby, and one eye on the clock. If baby is starting to show sleepy cues, then it’s best to go ahead and start preparing them for a nap to avoid overtiredness.
If your baby has a strong feed-to-sleep association, and you don’t mind/it’s not a problem for your family then you don’t need to go trying to change it! This routine is something that I would recommend for a baby that is having trouble staying asleep or having multiple wakings shortly after being laid down. Here’s another blog about the ins and outs and what to focus on in life with a newborn!
If you’re looking for more information about starting a pre-sleep or nap routine with your baby check out this blog.
If you are working on establishing breastfeeding and would like to chat about your questions or concerns, I now offer lactation support as part of my services!
If you would like to chat more about how we can set your baby up for healthy sleep habits and how to start a newborn sleep routine, I also offer free 15 minute discovery calls 🙂
