Judgement in Parenting
A common theme I see on social media in popular “yes/no” polls is that people often feel judged for their parenting style/choices. I often wonder if they’ve been openly judged or are feeling somewhat insecure in their choices/going against the grain from their family or friends.
Others say they’re uncomfortable being friends with people who have different parenting styles! Which blows my mind a little bit. We don’t do Santa but our nephew believes. We don’t use time outs but our friends did.
We sleep train and others bedshare.
Who cares!
So this got the wheels turning in my brain and here are my thoughts…..
Parenting differently, so long as our children are not abused and neglected but are well cared for even if it’s different than how you’d care for your own child isn’t something anyone should be judged for. We are individuals and allowed to make choices based on what WE feel is best for our specific child.
If you choose differently, then we can celebrate that! Not judge it!
If you are judging other people for their parenting, then remember that you’re typically only seeing some of the picture, not the whole picture and you’re basing your judgement on a partial view.
If you’re judging other people, take a hard look at WHY that is. If you feel you have more or better education/information, then lead by example. If someone asks you a question, answer it without providing unsolicited advice.
If you’re judging people because you feel superior, I wonder if it’s because you find your identity in parenting and anytime someone does something different you maybe feel challenged or feel like you need to defend your position?
The truth is the only person you need to defend your position is if it’s to your partner if you have one because you’re a team.
So I could be wrong, but I feel like the perception of judgement mostly comes from a place of misunderstanding and insecurity; whether that’s internal insecurities and second guessing what we are doing with our own children or a false feeling of superiority.
If you’ve felt judged, please know that you owe no one an explanation for the choices you’ve made and if you’ve judged people… please look at why. <3
