Sleep Tips for the New Parent

Newborns will typically disrupt your sleep, whether you’re a new or seasoned parent, for all sorts of reasons. We know this— and yet, it doesn’t keep us from obsessing over their sleep because it’s impacting ours.

However… what new parents can focus on MORE than their baby’s sleep is their sleep hygiene/sleep plan/getting more sleep. Because you’re more in control of that than your child's when they’re newborns (just being honest).

However, that doesn’t make sleep deprivation easier to handle or make sleep any less important! We know that sleep loss is a major contributor to perinatal or postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs). Which is why it’s worthwhile to prioritize rest in the postpartum period.

(Check out this blog on what actually matters in the postpartum period too).

Here are our top tips for prioritizing rest for you and your little one in the postpartum period!

Tip #1. Sleep Hygiene Matters

Sleep hygiene refers to just having good habits around sleep. Those things include: routines around sleep, decreasing screen time (phone and TV) before sleep times, keeping a consistent sleep schedule (waking around the same time each day and going to bed around the same time each day), a sleep conducive environment (ie dark, cool, use white noise), and even cutting off caffeine by 2pm each day.

The bonus is prioritizing sleep hygiene ALSO helps your baby! They benefit from routines, appropriate environments, and consistent sleep times too.

Tip #2. Accept Help (and don’t be afraid to ask for it)

You absolutely don’t have to be a superhero that does it all. Decide what would benefit your bonding (and rest) and say yes to offers (or ask for what you need!)

This may even be something that you do PRIOR to having a baby. Like saving for a postpartum doula, a house cleaner, prepared meals, a night nanny or sleep consultant, etc. 

No one is going to think you’re less of a mom if you take some things off your plate in order to get better rest and prioritize your mental health. 

Tip #3. Take Turns with a Partner

Not everyone has help (and I was raised by a single parent so I GET IT), but if you’ve got it, USE IT!

You’ve done so much caring for your baby already, it isn’t going to be too much to ask for your partner to chip in when it comes to sleep. 

Something that worked really well for our family is that I went to bed early (like 8pm), and my husband stayed up playing video games with the baby (while wearing baby and bouncing on a yoga ball often 😂) until they woke for their first feeding (we usually tried to get a 3-4 hour stretch in to start the night). He was also on toddler duty all night, but it was rare for them to need anything anyway (just pointing this out because it’s a conversation that should be had).

After 11pm or midnight, I was on duty with the baby and could usually get another 2-3 decent stretches/chunks of sleep in. 

If this feels like a struggle to you, make sure you check out the maternal gatekeeping blog and sleep perfectionism blog!

Tip #4. If sleep is hard to come by, prioritize rest. 

I’ve used REST a lot in this blog because you may not always get full on SLEEP like you were getting before. 

That means taking things off your to do list and doing things that rejuvenate you. Binge watching a show with no one touching you? Great! Whatever it is, take the mental and physical breaks you need.

Tip #5. Cat Naps Count

No, it isn’t going to replace that full 8 hour feeling, but according to the National Sleep Foundation, “20 minutes is all it takes to experience benefits like better mood and improved alertness.”

Tip #6. Practice The Pause

I preach this one a lot but it’s SO IMPORTANT and such a simple thing to do to improve sleep. Babies are noisy sleepers and spend much more time in active sleep.

That means sometimes it seems like they’re awake and they’re actually not. But if you assume they’re awake every time they make a noise, it’ll definitely disrupt your sleep more often than not.

Read more about the pause in this blog. You may also be wondering about room sharing (especially if your baby is really noisy); this blog will help!

Tip #7. Keep it Dark During Feedings

If you don’t *need* the light on to feed, consider using as little light as possible and using red light instead of yellow/normal lights. This will help to keep those sleep hormones going which means you’ll be able to go back to sleep even easier after those night time sleep disruptions.

Tip #8. Communicate Communicate Communicate

Tell your partner how you’re feeling. Talk about your sleep needs beforehand. Come up with a plan that you both agree to that allows you both to get rest AND contribute.

My biggest failure after having our first child was internalizing how much I was struggling (to my own detriment AND my baby’s).

My husband just had no idea because I never *told* him how I was feeling or how bad I was being impacted by the sleep loss. LESSON LEARNED. And my postpartum experiences with subsequent children were much much better.

Tip #9. Say No to Plans

Don’t feel bad turning down plans if you’re too tired. If you want to get out and do something and it helps you- do it! But don’t feel obligated to go to every dinner invitation, every birthday party, or insert any get together.

Sometimes it’s nice to be able to go and sit, enjoy company, and let other snuggle the baby for a while. Sometimes the thought of getting yourself ready + the baby out the door is just too much.

Whichever choice you make, make sure it’s one YOU feel good about!

Tip #10. Prioritize Eating and Drinking

Staying hydrated and eating well can give you more energy AND help you sleep better. Prepping things beforehand to have on hand when you’re postpartum can make this even easier.

At the end of the day, you’re in charge of your postpartum experience. I hope that empowers you to prioritize yourself and your health as you adjust to having a new little person.