Sleep Training and Separation Anxiety
Many parents may begin the sleep training process in an effort to improve their baby’s sleep, and to encourage their baby to fall asleep independently. There are some babies who are beginning to understand that their parents are separate from themselves, and may experience some separation anxiety. What does separation anxiety in babies look like? There could be intense reactions when you walk away, even for a short period of time, and your baby may seem extra clingy, or fussy when you try to put them down. So, how do you navigate THIS tough phase alongside sleep training?
When does separation anxiety begin?
At 3-5 months old, babies develop object permanence which is the realization that an object or person still exists even when you can no longer see them. This could be the start of struggling with separation for some babies, but most often it seems to peak around 9 months of age. And then again at 15-18 months old it seems to become more of a problem. Separation anxiety also seems to be worse when your baby is sick, tired or had a tough day. These periods are usually a struggle for the parents and child as well, but you can rest easy knowing that this phase will reach a peak and then eventually pass.
Separation anxiety during sleep training
As you can imagine separation anxiety can make sleep training feel even more difficult, however it is not a reason to forgo it altogether. There are many methods that allow you to provide high levels of comfort and still fade your presence out over time. The end goal of sleep training is independent sleep, which will help your child have longer, more restful periods of sleep and will help with their overall mood and ability to tolerate mild stress (such as being separated from you). Here’s some more tips for helping your child overcome their separation anxiety!
1. Create a Soothing Bedtime Routine
A consistent bedtime routine is vital for signaling to your baby that it’s time to sleep. This can include calming activities like a warm bath, gentle rocking, or reading a story. The routine should be predictable, which fosters a sense of security.
2. Gradual Separation
If your baby struggles with separation anxiety, consider a gradual approach to sleep training. This might involve sitting near the crib until they fall asleep, then slowly moving farther away over time. This helps them build confidence in their ability to sleep independently while knowing you’re nearby.
3. Comfort Items
If your baby is over 12 months of age, introduce a comfort item, like a soft toy or blanket, that can provide reassurance when you’re not in the room. This can help your baby feel more secure and reduce anxiety at bedtime.
4. Consistent Sleep Schedule
Maintain a consistent sleep schedule, ensuring that your baby goes to bed and wakes up at roughly the same times each day. Consistency reinforces their internal clock and provides a sense of stability during this anxious period.
5. Play games during the day like peek-a-boo, and talking to them as you walk out of the room and then re-enter.
These games will help your baby know that even if they can’t see you, you’re still always close by.
6. Be consistent in your actions.
If you tell your baby goodbye for work, make sure you really mean goodbye! Going back and forth because they’re upset about you leaving can actually make them more upset because they don’t know when you’re really going to mean it. Creating a goodbye or goodnight ritual with your baby can help them feel more confident and comfortable with you leaving.
Navigating sleep training during a phase of separation anxiety can feel overwhelming, but with patience, consistency, and love, it’s possible to create a nurturing sleep environment. Remember, every child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Trust your instincts and be gentle with yourself and your baby as you embark on this journey together. With time, your little one will learn to feel secure in their sleep routine, paving the way for restful nights for the whole family.
