Why is my toddler waking at night?
Toddlers are next level, in every sense of the word! We love them dearly, AND they really are complex little beings. For your baby, overnight wakings might have been solved with a minor schedule tweak, but with a toddler it’s a whole different game! If your toddler is having more overnight wakings than usual, read on to see why your toddler is waking at night.
Why is my toddler waking at night? Is it nightmares?
Around the age of 3, a toddler’s imagination really takes off. They are able to imagine things that aren’t really there, and this is typically the time that nightmares and a fear of the dark may emerge. We have all had nightmares at some point in our lives, but it can be difficult to know what is going on when our little ones wake up overnight.
Here are the signs that your child may be having nightmares:
Waking up crying/upset
Coherently telling you what happened in their nightmare/what scared them
Asking for your comfort or reassurance
Bedtime anxiety, afraid that they will have another bad dream
To address the nightmares, validate the feeling not the fear! It does feel scary when you have a bad dream, no matter how irrational the dream may be. Reassure them that they are safe and show them if possible how the dream was not their reality. “You dreamed that ants were in your bed? That must’ve felt scary. But look! There’s no ants here. You are safe.”
If your toddler seems afraid of the dark or is asking for a night light, this is a good time to introduce one! Choose a nightlight that is warm-toned (red, orange, amber), as these have been shown to not disrupt melatonin production. Dim the setting as much as possible so that it will be a comfort for your toddler, but not a distraction, and preferably not placed right by their sleep space. We don’t want it to prevent them from getting the sleep they need. Initially, if they want the light fairly bright, you can gradually dim it more and more to a less distracting level.
To try to reduce the amount of nightmares your toddler is experiencing, avoiding stress and overtiredness is key. There is also research that links melatonin use to increased nightmares. Under the guidance of a doctor, melatonin can be beneficial, but this finding is definitely worth noting.
Nightmares are different from night terrors. For a comparison check out this blog!
Is your toddler napping too long?
Sleep needs tend to drop around 3 years of age. If your toddler is napping still they could be getting too much daytime sleep, and it is interfering with their sleep at night. If you notice your toddler having a hard time falling asleep for bedtime or having multiple night wakings several nights in a row, you may want to consider capping the nap further to see if it helps. Dropping the last nap can take months and months! Just because they are struggling at night isn’t a sign to completely drop the nap altogether. Even once they begin the process, a toddler may need a nap every other day, or every 2-3 days for awhile. Check out this blog for more information about dropping the last nap!
Is your toddler overtired?
On the topic of dropping the last nap, overtiredness can also be a reason your toddler is waking overnight! (as if this wasn’t confusing enough, amiright?!) Overtiredness can build over time. Even though they may only be losing a little sleep here and there each day, if they never get a chance to make up that sleep debt overtiredness can start to creep in.
Here are some signs of overtiredness:
Extra cranky or showing signs of tiredness like rubbing their eyes
Tired but then catches a “second wind” and becomes wired
Waking shortly after bedtime (roughly 30-60 minutes later)
Waking early in the morning, or wanting to get up at 5 am for the day
Frequent unhappy night wakings where they may scream instead of just hanging out in their sleep space contentedly
Resisting your comfort, pushing away from you, resisting sleep (the thing they need most is the thing they are fighting!)
The number one way to combat overtiredness once it’s already crept in is 🗣️EARLY BEDTIME 🗣️Don’t be afraid to put your kid to sleep at 6 pm! They will need the reset to make up for the sleep debt. Life isn’t perfect and schedules get busy, but prioritizing your child’s sleep, practicing good sleep hygiene, and using the 80/20 rule when sacrificing sleep for experiences can help keep your little one well rested.
If you are STILL at a loss as to why your toddler is waking at night, I would love to chat with you about it!
If you’re so tired you just need help like YESTERDAY, check out my services to see which one is the right fit for your family.
