Bedtime Routines for Babies and Toddlers
Bedtime routines are SO important!
Kids will accept sleep more when they know it’s coming. A simple series of events is sufficient – and bonus, anyone can do it so it doesn’t always have to be Mom that puts the kids to bed. It’s a great way for a working Dad to bond if he’s been away all day and you won’t have to worry if you need a date night and the babysitter is putting the baby to bed. I can’t tell you how many different people have put our kids to bed… and they sleep the same as if I had done it.
This study references the importance of bedtime routines. “This bedtime routine resulted in improvements in child and mother night wakings, maternal perceptions of child sleep and mood (ie, sleep problem, bedtime ease, and morning mood), and improvements in maternal sleep quality.”
Another study stated “A consistent bedtime routine was associated with better sleep outcomes, including earlier bedtimes, shorter sleep onset latency, reduced night wakings, and increased sleep duration. Decreased parent-perceived sleep problems and daytime behavior problems were also related to institution of a regular bedtime routine.”
Unrelated to sleep, this study found that there were positive outcomes in “language development, literacy, child emotional and behavioral regulation, parent-child attachment, and family functioning.”
Let’s start with newborns. After you leave the hospital and you’ve entered the “newborn haze“, the last thing on your mind is a routine, right? You’re figuring each other out, learning new things, and just trying to survive. You’re likely trying to maximize any amount of sleep the baby will let you get.
Newborns tend to have a later bedtime, just because they sleep pretty much around the clock. They’ll usually give you a somewhat “long stretch” after 9-11pm. See if there’s a trend by logging their sleep and when they have a stretch of sleep longer than 2-3 hours.
(You can grab my 7 day sleep log here!)
Newborns do not produce melatonin and only receive a little through breastmilk if you’re a nursing mom (the jury is out on how much they actually get). So you can try to start prepping your body to produce melatonin to give to the baby by reducing screen time, turning down the lights, playing some soothing music, take a relaxing bath, etc.
Include the baby in this routine, but don’t make it too long. Newborns get overtired and overstimulated quickly and easily so keep things lowkey but soothing. After the last “nap” ends around 8/9/10pm, you can start the bedtime routine!
feed
change her diaper
lotion massage
keeping your voices down and lights low (salt lamps are great!)
dressed and swaddled
turn on some white noise
turn the lights off
sing a short song while rocking
And try to have them back asleep within an hour or so of their last nap. If you find that bathing your newborn isn’t a fun task, don’t include that in your bedtime routine. Do that during the day instead.
As your newborn gets older, closer to 4 months or so, you could add in things like a story. You’ll drop the swaddling and replace it with something like a sleep sack. But you’ll still want to keep things mostly brief.
If you find that your child is getting upset during the routine, it’s probably too long and overstimulating. They’re saying “I’m tired and want to go to bed!”
For example, uur bedtime routine for my 7 month old is breastfeed around 6:30pm, rub her down with lotion, change her diaper and pajamas, pop her in a sleep sack, turn on her white noise, sing a quick song (if she isn’t lunging for her crib) and lay her down by 7pm. I rub her back for literally 1 second and say “night night, love you” and walk out.
Sleep sack and white noise is a HUGE cue for her. She pretty much lays her head on my shoulder the minute I turn on her sound. It’s the cutest thing ever.
As you get closer to the year mark, you may find your baby is testing you, pushing boundaries, etc. If your schedule is good, then start talking about your routine as you’re doing it. Something like, “First, we’ll brush our teeth, then we’ll pick out our pajamas…” etc. This can help prep them and involve them in their process.
The older they get, giving choices and making things a game can really help. Around 18 months with our son, we started racing to his room. Now that he’s 3, we see how fast he can change his clothes. You want bedtime to be a fun bonding experience at the end of the day. Not something everyone dreads.
Some other fun ideas for 12m+ kids to add into your bedtime routine:
Pick out different books to read. Some of our favorites are: The Getting Ready for Bed Book, Thank You Prayer, Goodnight Moon, I Love You as Big as the World, and Bedtime Prayers.
Bedtime yoga (some fun, but relaxing positions to wind her body down) like child’s pose, happy baby, down dog, bridging, knees to chest, and corpse.
Talk quietly about her favorite parts of the day. I love our nightly conversations! There’s no telling what he is going to tell me about.
Prayer. Similar to our nightly conversations, you never know what my kid is going to pray for, but I guarantee it will touch you right in the feels.
Say goodnight to objects in her room (or whatever she can see outside of her window).
It can also be helpful if you give “warnings.” For example, after dinner they’ll have 30 mins of play time before bed. (This can help expel some energy too!) Tell them when they have 15 minutes left, then 5 minutes. Visual timers and charts are great for toddlers!
If you’re really struggling with creating a sustainable routine, feel like bedtime is a fight every night, or maybe sleep is just a wreck anyway, you can apply to work with us and get started on the road to better bedtimes!
Or maybe you’ve mastered the art of bedtime and loved reading all the research behind why they’re important! If you said yes, check out the Sleep Consultant Academy from the Collective for Family Rest and Wellness to start your career as a sleep consultant helping other families!
