Can you sleep train with a night feed?
Here’s a formula for you!
Sleep training ≠ Night weaning
But!
Intentional night weaning usually DOES involve sleep training in some capacity.
There are many misconceptions when it comes to sleep training, but one of the biggest is that in order to sleep train, you must give up all night time feeds..
For some families, this can be a hangup, because even though they may want to improve their child’s sleep and sleep train, their child isn’t (or they think their child isn’t or THEY’RE not) ready to give up the nighttime feeds.
I want you to know that it’s totally doable to sleep train and maintain a feed overnight if needed. I would venture to say that the majority of our clients in the first year don’t even have a goal of night weaning completely and they’re still very successful with sleep training.
What does night weaning mean?
What I mean when I say intentional night weaning is the act of purposely shifting all of your baby’s feedings that happen at night to the day. This refers to a baby going approximately 10-12 hours in the night without feeding. Because babies can only take in so many calories in 24 hours, you shift the night time calories to the day time- you are not cutting them out completely!
When do babies night wean?
Most pediatricians and sleep experts agree that between 4-6 months, almost all children are able to take in all needed calories during the day, and sleep 10-12 hours comfortably without a feeding at night. We don’t recommend trying to night wean before 4 months of age, because your baby may not be able to take in all the necessary calories during the day just yet, and it could lead to a lot of unnecessary frustration. It is possible for some babies to naturally drop night feedings once they get older, but not all of them do. Some kiddos will continue to feed at night until they are 3 years old or once the parents decide to intentionally night wean.
Fun fact: one study found that babies 6-12 months woke up, on average, about 3 times during the night. Yet many parents with babies this age report only one waking per night.
Not ready to night wean?
If you are not interested in weaning any night feedings just yet, you can definitely work on independent sleep in the meantime. Practicing “le pause” is something you can implement early on to encourage your baby to return to sleep without your assistance. Babies are noisy sleepers, and even cry out in their sleep. Pausing a few moments before responding gives you the ability to tune in to their cries/sounds to determine if they truly need you, or if they are just transitioning sleep cycles.
I also suggest offering comfort first when your baby cries in the middle of the night, instead of immediately moving in to feed. They might just need a heavy hand, some shushing, or jiggling to help them fall back to sleep.
Reasons you may want to keep feeding overnight:
Maybe you’re away from your child all day and enjoy the night time snuggles
Maybe you’re worried about your milk supply or already struggle with low supply
Maybe your little one has a medical reason for needing to maintain overnight feeds or has fallen off their growth curve
Maybe they’re unable to take in larger feedings during the day and need the overnight ounces to fill their 24 hour needs
Is my baby ready to night wean?
Before deciding to intentionally night wean your baby, you will want to make sure they are cleared by the pediatrician to do so, because they are the ones keeping tabs on your baby’s growth. If all is clear, and there’s no weight gain issues that would warrant the need for night feedings, then you will first need to work on independent sleep. Without the skill of independent sleep, you will likely end up doing all the work and just replace nursing with rocking or another dependent sleep skill, which doesn’t really solve the wakings. While working on independent sleep with babies I always have the clients focus on bedtime first, before addressing the middle of the night wakings. This allows them to learn the skill of returning to sleep independently. Once bedtime is going well, we move on to the overnight wakings and determine if they are being caused by hunger vs. habit.
Is it Hunger?
Your baby falls back asleep after a feeding, completely on their own after being laid down wide awake
Your baby eats a large amount, remains awake during the feeding, and falls asleep knowing they have left your arms and you have left the room.
Your baby wants to feed after a very long stretch of sleep. The length of this sleep stretch is usually described by parents as the "longest my baby's ever slept."
Your baby is only requiring one feeding overnight and it's usually in the morning hours. Also, falls back to sleep after THAT feeding completely on their own.
Or is it Habit?
Your baby continues to cry even after a feeding or requires even more soothing to fall asleep again.
Your baby only suckles a little and falls right back to sleep, and may cry immediately when you lay them back down, and wants to suckle more.
Your baby wants to feed frequently (i.e. every couple of hours)
*Of course we aren't talking about growth spurts, or newborns. Growth spurts include an increase in daytime feedings as well-not just at night.
Your baby requires many feedings and must be asleep when laid back down.
Big picture:
If they nutritionally need the calories, their hunger will wake them, you will feed them, and they will normally fall back asleep quickly.
However if your child doesn't need a feed nutritionally it might be hard for them to understand why sometimes their wake ups are responded to with a feed and other times are not. This is why is it important to assess this when deciding to wean and sleep train. The child who doesn’t NEED the feed can lead to a cycle of crying and more waking. (This is why weaning and sleep training is a process!)
With this knowledge, we can determine roughly when your baby is really ready for a feeding, and use the sleep training method to respond in between feeding times. If your baby is feeding two or three times overnight, and you would like to reduce the number of feedings, there are a few different methods you can use to achieve this goal.
Feeding overnight while sleep training: HOW?!
So you’ve determined that you’re ready to sleep train but NOT ready to night wean—what does it actually look like to sleep train and maintain feeds overnight?
Sleep training, by definition, is just changing habits around sleep— maybe that looks like changing a feeding to sleep association to a rocking to sleep association. Or maybe you’re going to put them down awake and have them fall asleep independently.
For many children, falling asleep independently without assistance is the key in improving sleep and weaning overnight feedings whenever you’re ready.
And once your little one can fall asleep on their own, when they wake up in the middle of the night (around the same time) for a feeding, you can feed them and lay them back in their crib, confident that they’ll just go to sleep, because you have taught them how to and know that they can!
So, as you can see, sleep training and overnight feedings are separate events and can co-exist.
CONSIDERATIONS FOR SLEEP TRAINING AND FEEDING
When you’ve sleep trained and your child can fall asleep independently, we often find night time sleep consolidates on it’s own and only the necessary feedings stick around. This is because the nursing sessions they were having were mainly for comfort to help them fall back to sleep, but now that they’re able to do that on their own, they essentially wean themselves. (this is BEST CASE scenario— work smarter, not harder).
If you’re nursing though, it can take about a week for your own body to adjust to the decreased demand over night. To protect your supply, the best stretch of sleep you can get is going to be between 10pm-3am. With that in mind, I would suggest pumping before you go to bed, feeding your little one after 2-3am if they only have one night time feeding or if they’ve weaned themselves, pumping around 5am if needed. You can also pump after your first morning feed of the day.
If while training you find that your child is waking at different times, taking different amounts, falling asleep before finishing a feed, it would cue me that your child doesn't need a feed nutritionally. You may actually be stalling your sleep training journey by continuing to offer a feed because it might be hard for them to understand why sometimes their wake ups are responded to with a feed and other times are not. This can just lead to a cycle of crying and more waking.
Bottom line is this- if you want to work on independent sleep, but keep overnight feedings, you can absolutely sleep train. The only person who ultimately should make the call is the person who is handling the feedings. Do whatever works best for your family!
If you’re struggling with the dynamic of feeding overnight + sleep training, check out the 1:1 package options here for support!
