What is Cry It Out Sleep Training?
The sleep training method “cry it out” has definitely been a hot topic of conversation in the parenting corner of the internet since, well, forever! It may be considered a taboo subject, however I want to lift the curtain and allow the light to flood in! The more informed you are about the options out there, the better you are able to make decisions for yourself and your family!
If you simply take a cursory glance around parenting blogs/groups you may get the idea that ANY form of sleep training=cry it out (CIO). This is not at all a fair assertion because A.) it’s inaccurate and B.) it doesn’t help people make an educated or informed decision. Any amount of crying does NOT equal CIO.
There is also pervasive language regarding CIO and sleep training in general that is inherently judgmental. This type of language can also be considered detrimental because people say things such as “I choose to support my child to sleep” or “I’m still a parent at night”, or some other variation. The reason why it’s harmful is because it makes the implication that parents who sleep train are doing the opposite of those things, and it just isn’t accurate.
What is “shutdown syndrome”?
This term is coined by Dr. Sears and repeated by certain blogs and several "anti-sleep training" big names without scientific basis and without acknowledging that this term is not actually a real condition. NEITHER of the instances I outline below truly has anything to do with sleep training, but some people use it out of context to explain an infant being flooded with cortisol (stress hormone) when left to fall asleep independently (even if they weren’t crying) because separation is so traumatic.
Even when a parent is TRYING to be 100% responsive EVERY TIME and attuned to their child, they’re going to miss the mark. Research shows that we get it right about 20-30% of the time when we respond. Meaning, when you respond to your child’s signals (aka crying, calling out to you) you will get it right on the first try 2-3 out of 10 times.
Two Instances when & why the term “Shutdown Syndrome” has been used:
By Dr. Sears to describe an infant diagnosed with failure to thrive. This infant was not being fed responsively and therefore was “shutting down” to conserve her energy, in order to use the stores she had to carry out essential biological functions.
The second usage of the term “shutdown syndrome” is in regards to the Romanian orphanages in the 1980’s-90’s. The neglected children would be literally left to atrophy in their cribs. They would “shutdown” because they had learned that their cries were futile and wouldn’t be responded to.
This is not your child. Your home is not a Romanian orphanage.
Role of Cortisol/ Examples of Toxic and Positive Stress
Cortisol fluctuates as much as 400% throughout a sleep/wake cycle. Cortisol is an essential hormone to daily life, not an enemy that causes your baby to “shutdown”. Cortisol maintained at high levels for long periods of time IS an issue and is referred to as toxic stress. This type of stress is caused by abuse or neglect situations. “Toxic stress response can occur when a child experiences strong, frequent, and/or prolonged adversity-such as physical or emotional abuse, chronic neglect, caregiver substance abuse or mental illness, exposure to violence, and/or the accumulated burdens of family economic hardship-without adequate adult support.”
Not related to the short term period of sleep training which is classified as POSITIVE stress. Positive stress is regarded as a normal, important, and essential part of healthy development that occurs in the context of stable and supportive relationships. Characterized by brief increases in heart rate and mild elevations in hormone levels. Even with sleep training (which is meeting a valid and essential need-sleep), it’s not “chronic” enough to result in your child shutting down between the hours of 7pm-7am because they know you’re “off the clock”.
So, what exactly is “cry it out sleep training”?
Cry it out (CIO), also known as the extinction method, is the most straightforward sleep training method-- you would put the baby down at bedtime and leave the room without going back in. If the baby wakes during the night, you could feed or do one quick check to rule out any reasons for the baby waking up. After that, you'd let the baby return to sleep on their own.
Reasons you may want to use extinction as your method of choice:
Extremely sleep deprived and need to see improvements fast
Solo parenting often with more than one child that you can’t leave unattended
Difficulty responding calmly and consistently (research shows that no response is better than an inconsistent or anxious response)
If parents are unable to get on the same page about their response
Your child is less upset when you aren’t there and falls asleep faster with less intervention
Because you want to!
Of course, CIO is just one of the MANY sleep training methods that are out there. If it does not feel like a good fit for your family, then simply choose another! If you used the CIO method, and it worked well for your family then that’s great, too. We are all for families making educated decisions that you feel confident about.
If you are interested in having a conversation about how I could help you with your baby’s sleep struggles without cry it out sleep training, I have time slots set aside to chat with you!
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